"Dad"

In prayer there is Mary.  I can always go to Mary.  And so I do, wrapped in a mossy midnight blanket, I go to Mary and explain how little and how poor I am.

She knows.  She holds me.  She turns me to her Son.  He is waiting.  My big brother, so beloved of the Father, so trusting of Him and His love.

Together, we go to Him.  He immediately receives me in warm embrace.  Together they turn me to the Father.

In the middle of the workday yesterday, I let out a small word, almost a sigh, from I don’t know where:

Dad.

I miss my own dad always.  He loved so simply, so unconditionally.  Unmoved by both my talents and my flaws.

But this “Dad” that emitted from my soul, seemed more.

Back in my pre-conversion days, twice I called out, “Mommy”.  Bewildered and in pain, lost and despairing, I called out, “mommy.”  Even in the moment I knew it was not a call to the good, but imperfect woman who bore me.  It took me a while to discover the Lady I was calling out to.

Now that lady

She

Is my Queen

She is my Momma

I am all hers

Forever

Now, My Lady

Brings me, by hand

To Dad

Yes, in knowing Jesus,

I have known Him,

But

He is His own Person

This Father God of mine

He wants to dance with His daughter

Hand in hand

We head to the dance floor

The forest our ballroom

Dappled with sunlight

Pillared by cedars

A soft bed of pine needles

Beneath satin slippers

To bird calls and breezes

We dance

In an ancient Catholic hymn to the Holy Spirit, Veni Creator, there is this beautiful stanza:

Thou in Thy Sevenfold gifts art known,
The finger of God's hand we own;
The promise of the Father, Thou!
Who dost the tongue with power endow.

Like a small child, walking with his Father, too small to hold his whole hand, instead holds and owns his Father's finger.  The gift of the Holy Spirit is the means by which we, the beloved children, hold our heavenly Dad's finger.

On this memorial of the Most Holy Name of Mary, I want to thank you, Blessed Mother.  You always gently turn me, by your spouse the Holy Spirit, with your Son, my Lord Jesus, to the Father, my God and my Dad.